Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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