dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
