I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
