sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
