i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
