Non-Jews are for practice
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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