So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
