i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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