You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
