we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
