Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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