I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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