He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
