I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
