She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize