She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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