Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
