i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
