Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
