I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Still dying that you shit outside
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
