Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize