yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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