Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
