Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
