oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dignity is for republicans.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Will exercising make me less horny?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize