We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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