Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
