Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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