yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
