put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
