I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
