Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
