My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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