I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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