I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
