Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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