I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
