why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
