Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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