wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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