I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
