he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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