He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
