My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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