He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize