btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
