Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The air was thick with penises
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
