____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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