I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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