sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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