What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
