You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
