Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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