I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You pole danced in your parka.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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