Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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