I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
