do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
