is wine microwaveable?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
