Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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